Cock-blocker: (kok-blok er) slang: An individual who hinders a male's ability to make physical contact with a desired female (or male in some fucked up situations).

Being my first article for sevs I thought that I should start everything off talking about my least favorite type of person, the cock-blocker. They come in all shapes and sizes, yet the majority are fat and ugly (no offense cock-blockers but you usually are very fat and very ugly). Also, cock-blocking is not gender specific, a cock-blocker can be either a male or a female, or one of those shemales where you really aren't sure what kind of equipment they're playing with. So always, and I mean always be on the lookout for potential cock-blockers (right now I'm tired of typing cock-blockers each time so I'm just gonna say cb's. Got a problem? Well go fuck yourself. I'm lazy and I don't care what your problems are, and I'm sure you have lots of them so go get help you psycho).

Now lets talk about the breeds of cb's, they are devious those cb's, not only are they hard to spot by looks, but they also have different styles of fucking you over and preventing your johnson from leaving your pants. First off we have the most infamous of the cb's, THE SIDECAR. Now you may be saying, what the fuck is this guy talking about, a sidecar??? What the hell is a sidecar???? Well rest easy friends we've all experienced the wrath of a sidecar before. Have you ever been at a party or a gathering of sorts and saw that unbelievably hot girl, standing over in a corner begging to be talked to, so you go over and chat it up and ask her to go to a room or come over your house or some shit like that. BAMMMM! her ugly ass troll friend that is borderline the most gruesome creature ever jumps out from the shadows and presents herself as the reason that the hot girl cant do shit. Hot girl: "I'm sorry, I don't wanna leave my friend alone, but if I could find a guy for her then we could go hook up." Now what the hell are we as guys supposed to do? Our balls are telling us that there's nothing in the world better than hooking up with a hot girl, but our brain is saying that there's nothing in the world better than hooking up with a hot girl(HA, you thought I'd say that our brain would be telling us that no guy in his right mind would hook up with that ugly ass sidecar troll. Well you're so fucking wrong it hurts, our balls are our brains you stupid bastard.) So you get no play from that hot girl and her sidecar friend has succeeded in her quest to fuck your life up. You should probably now have a good understanding about the sidecar because we have all seen the token ugly girl with the hot girl friends, but those sneaky cb's have the most despicable and horrific weapon on their side. THE MALE SIDECAR, now I must say that these are rare, and they are so powerful that it can make your willy run screaming into your small intestine(or large intestine if you're black, because we all know the small intestine just doesn't have the width to support your manhood.)

From experience I have only dealt with one male sidecar, and his powers leveled the playin field of all hooking up, he teamed up with the powers of a fat ugly girl sidecar to completely kill the loving atmosphere of cheap vodka and whiskey. The only part that salvaged that night was watching the kid's heart break when the girl he liked showed her affection for another guy. Oh yeah back to the point of the article. Wait there really isn't one, wait till next time, I think a point might arise then, and if not you really haven't wasted your time cuz there's nothing to do in this town so you're better off.

Next time I'll reveal the second type of CB, the piece of shit that likes to fuck you over to up his chances of getting with a girl. Now that you have been taught some ways of the cb be wary and watch out for those tell-tale signs of cockblocking, and remember kids, when you need to create a loving atmosphere there is no substitute for cheap liquor.