The French have long been known as the most dispicable people under the sun. Those filthy assholes whose women don't shave and whose men can't win a war are the undisputed scum of the earth. One thing they have given us is some interesting language, so I guess they aren't all bad. Here are some expressions for you to use the next time you want to impress your date.

French Tickler ('french 'ti-k(&-)l&r): A phallus shaped piece of rubber or plastic often used to simulate sexual intercourse. AKA: Dildo, Dong, Rubber Cock. There are all sorts of variations on the tickler, including the standard dick, cock and balls, double-headed, ribbed, beaded, vibrating, strap-on, the list goes on and on. A fun thing you can do with one is bring it to a party and secretly put it in a drawer somewhere. Later, take it out in front of a crowd and pretend that it belongs to the host. This is sure to cause permanent emotional damage for the host, but that's not your problem, now is it?

French Safe ('french saphe): A rubber sheath intended for the prevention of pregnancy and/or disease. AKA: condom, jimmy hat, pocket protector, rain coat. The French Safe, once only used by sailors, has in current times become necessary if you don't want to catch AIDS from dirty sluts. It's fun to blow them up and use them as decorations, or you can stretch them out and put them on your head. We here at sevs recommend the ribbed variety for her pleasure.