(This post is an expanded version of the one found in this posting in the forums.)

It actually *is* possible to throw a decent high school party, but it requires a few things most school-aged kids know nothing about: Time, Effort, and Class. Use my system and instead of standing around in the dark, you will be laughing it up with the boys, making new friends, and later, tagging drunken, chubby teen chicks, while creating a lifelong rep as a real party poodle.

Making this work is not easy, but it will establish you as a man among boys in the lackluster world of high school parties. Keep reading for some specific tactics to make your next shin-dig really swell.

1: Get a person or group of people and assign them as "hosts" for the party. It doesn't matter where the party is, just make sure you've got a few dependable people who can take responsibility for making sure the party goes well.

2: Scout a spot. It's not always possible to have a house available, so sometimes parties in the woods will have to do. A day or so before the party, head to the site and clean up. Find a couple good-size logs to use for seating. Get some lighting. Tiki Torches and Coleman lanterns are great. A small radio and some folding chairs are always nice. Be a big dawg and bring a BBQ and some steaks for x-tra pimp points. The idea is to create a pleasurable atmosphere to mask the fact you're standing in the dirt in the woods.

3: Keep it small. Invite only your closest male friends. Nothing is worse than a swordfight. INVITE AS MANY CHICKS AS YOU CAN, even girls you don't know or don't think are "cool" enough for you. Invite the shy girl who never goes to parties. Girls have friends who are girls, and they in turn have pussies in their pants as well. Make sure the Host(s) personally invites each lady. Let the girls know this is a special, private affair for discriminating persons, only.

4: ALWAYS BYOB. Bring enough beverages for yourself, your crew, and any chicks who show up empty handed (important). Forget about kegs, they are too expensive and only result in drunkenness and unexpected idiot visitors. People (the football team) have a tendency to "show up" at keggers because there's typically too much beer. When it's BYOB, only those with supplies are welcome. You will need ice, cups and a cooler. Don't be stingy, get good beer and good booze. Remember, you can get drunk sitting on the swingset in your fucking backyard, the point is getting laid.

5: Carpool and park in a inconspicuous manner. 25 people is plenty for a great party. If you carpool, you can get everyone and all the gear with just a few cars. Remember, Northport cops know every party spot you got, so make sure to park 1-2 blocks away in groups of 2. A little walking will do you good anyway. As long as the spot is secluded, the cops will not bother you unless they see your cars.

6: When the party's on, light the torches, put some Marley on the boom box and be friendly. Now it's the time for the host(s) to do their job. Make sure all the chicks have booze and all the homies are being well behaved. Periodically check on the ladies and gicve them the special attention they deserve. Regulate on the idiots and restock ice + beverage supplies if needed. With a little attention, everyone will feel part of the show and chicks will look at you lovingly for your superior organizational skills.

7: Finally, don't get too drunk. It took me years to learn this one. Getting drunk is no fun and you're guaranteed not to get any play. Drink slowly, just enough to get a buzz. This way when it's time to rock you still can get busy. A real man is always in control. If you do get too drunk, be mellow. Puke if you must, but don't be an ass.

Hope that helps guys. Maybe next time you'll have some better luck with your parties, because those pictures are damn laughable.