Damn, it sure has been stagnant in here. This post might seem dumb and pointless, but I think new shit is better than nothing, which would lead to the eventual death of sevs. I'd like to see the news page updated daily or at least every other day like back in the good ol days. So here's my contribution.
chick·en -The flesh of the common domestic fowl.
club -A stout heavy stick, usually thicker at one end, suitable for use as a weapon; a cudgel. Uhh or maybe a sandwich.
I have been partaking in a long and grueling test of the art that is, the Chicken Club. I have studied and tested specimen from three popular local fast food joints: Burger King, Wendys, and Taco Bell. McDonalds sucks and Roy Rogers is too far away. And of course Checkers rules the universe but alas, no chicken club. Here are my conclusions.........
Burger King
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Burger King is where I was first introduced to the Chicken Club. I had always been a fan of the whopper, I mean how can you not be. But I felt a urge to seek new challenges in life. As that Frost guy said, take the road less traveled or whatever. The Burger King club consists of a crispy all-white meat chicken patty with lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, and hickory-smoked bacon served on a sesame seed bun. Delicious! The club is no chore to scarf down with its perfectly shaped roll style bun, a bit larger than a Subway 6-incher, and no I'm not talkin about everybodys favorite non-coherent latino employee's privates! The cost of the Club changes almost everytime I visit BK, which is usually at least twice a week during fourth period, when the fries are AMAZINGLY good and fresh! Usually a medium chicken club value meal is about $5.50, but remember kids, Large is a Great Value!
I give this sandwich 4 out of 5 dancing bacons!
Wendy'sNow it's time for everybodys favorite local fast food joint, the all mighty Wendys. Everyone loves wendys for their perfect burgers, spicy chicken sandwiches, and decent english speaking skills. But should everyone love the Wendys Chicken Club??? Most people probably dont even know about this sandwich, as their is no value meal for it and no extreme advertising as at BK. Wendys version of the chicken club follows all the rules, includes one piece of deep-fried breaded chicken breast in a standard hamburger bun with a dollop of mayonnaise, a lettuce leaf, slice of tomato and one or two slices of bacon. The taste, is decent. The Hamburger bun pretty much kills it for me though, although a decent sandwich overall, It's quite small, unfullfilling and expensive. There are too many superior choices at Wendys to bother with this sandwich. I give it a poor, but fair two dancing bacon strips.
Taco BellEwww! You're gross, Taco Bell is disgusting!!
Shutdafuckup. I dont really give a shit, it tastes good, It's not like I'm eating it every day, not even every week. Well for those who are convinced that T-bell is just a small building filled with shit and tortilla shells, maybe its time for you to step up to the plate and try out the Taco Bell Chicken Club Chalupa!!! Not to be mistaken for the Ace Of Clubs, which is a strip club on the road to Hunter Mountain. But anyway, I know this isnt exactly a sandwich, but its got the prime ingridients of the Chicken club, ie Chicken and Bacon. I've always been a huge fan of the Chalupa shell, and this with tender marinated all white chicken, bacon, three cheeses, lettuce, tomato and some nice chalupa sauce make one helluva answer to munchies. It's also hard to beat T-bells prices.
I'll have to give this beautiful Chalupa 5 out of 5 dancing bacon strips!! Thats practically a bacon orgy!!
I'd like to end this post with a tribute to Bacon, originally performed by Ben Garant of (mid 90's)MTV's "The State"
Bacon Bacon Bacon, I'm puttin the moves on you, Your BACON!!!!!!
So when your sitting down to your breakfast pancakes, or waffles, you know. Why dont you lay down an extra slice or two of Bacon? And save one for me. I may just put it down my shorts. Most likely will.
