About 2 months ago I stumbled upon something that upped the value of my life. God bless you if you were one of the fortunate to come across the gem I happened to find. While couch surfing with my girlfriend at night something compelled me to flick through the wasteland of cable TV... High into the unfamiliar numbers I searched. Past VH1, MTV and the always confusingly humorous BET. I didn't stop at the animal channel and I just kept on clicking. Now I don't know if it was laziness that caused me not to press 2 enter and go back to the bottom of the numbers but it was as if something was pulling me higher and higher into this unfamiliar territory. As the numbers increased so did the rate at which the channels went by... 68, 69, 70, 71. WHAT? DID YOU JUST SEE THAT! I jumped up at a rate which threw my girlfriend off of me and almost on the floor. As I scrambled for the remote it felt like an eternity to switch back to channel 70. Was it still going to be there? Did I really see what I thought I did? Was it just a millisecond of unscrambled TV that hit the second I flashed by this station??

FREE PORN ON CABLE TV!! My mind raced with questions but most of all I didn't know how long it would last. Every second was precious, I didn't know what to do first, run around, tape it or drop my pants right there. My girlfriend looked at me puzzled, she couldn't understand why this porn was different from videos that I own. IT'S NOT THE SAME THING! This is cable TV! It's not even the fact they are naked or fucking or if half of it is soft core, it's on cable TV! Do you know how many kids would have died for this when they were in 6th grade, myself being one of them? I am a big a fan of porno since before I can remember but this smut was FREE!! That night I fell asleep with the TV tuned to channel 70 fearing if I changed it this blessing would be gone forever.

When we woke up the next morning my speculations of fear were right, it was gone. Had I dreamed this? Was it a fluke? Was it a weekend special promotion?... That night I checked back and was delighted to find out that we were back in business. From 10 to 2 p.m. channel 70 would flow soft core that was on repeat. Both genders were kept happy with the occasional sausage and taco shot. Every 10 min. they would break in with commercials for escort services.

Weeks later, I felt like Don McLean when I turned my remote to channel 70 at 10:01 and there was a commercial for optimum online... and like that it was gone. As fast as it came into my life it was gone. Everyday I still have hopes that it will return. As I keep my fingers crossed and wait around I don't drive my Chevy to the levy but rather log onto on THEHUN.NET