Today hash was sadly kicked out this school for sending pizzas to mr runios office. this could be seen as a mild misdeminor but hash was on like School probation or some thing. on this day i made a list of all the great things hash has done in this school by a list of pranks.

1. Waterballoning the freshman well on a number of occasions
2. he realsed Chicken into the commons
3. he realsed Crickets in to the commons.
4. He buttered the railings and the Stairs.
5. He Danced in the middle of the tigerette Christmass dance.
6. He came to school in various different costumes in 10th grade.
7. He showed up to The reach vollyball tounament drunk even when Mr. C said to bar hash from entering the school.

His final act of defiance is when he sent pizzas to mr. runions office to show the administration that no one will ever keep him down.

Rarely in a man's life does he encounter a relationship as special as the one between himself and his masturbatory palm.

A great friend, this hand, a warm companion on a cold, lonely autumn night. Its ferruled, leathery grip, like a broken-in pair of levis.

The ween demands attention. Sometimes, a woman won't, or can't, do. Even though courtships and marriages, the hand stays true.

Honed, if you will, like a fine weapon.

Perhaps it says something about a man; his first, and most enduring sexual relationship is with himself.

Posted for Ryan Quinn along with other prodigies
Listen up crazy fools, if u have a halfway decent voice and are interested in singing with some good musicians, you have found your match. We are interested in playing a variety of different styles of music from reggae to funk to rock and/or roll. IF u like bands like the chili peppers, radiohead, janes addiction, pink floyd zeppelin, marley and other great stuff like that. We are also interested in writing some original melodies. Come spring time we wanna rock out at some parties for free beer too. If you sing and wanna have fun, and are a lover of music than drop me an email with your name and #. An open mind is a must.
Email Ryan

So I thought to myself, who doesn't like stick figures?


Then I realized, everybody who visits this site probably hates stick figures. So I made this post. Enjoy.

1) On Saturday and Sunday morning you consistently wake up in your bed in full clothing, including shoes, and wonder 'what happened'?
2) You have been caught drunk so many times by your parents you need to resort to drinking in school to avoid being sent to AA.
3) You get home from a good night of binging and your mom asks you why you have ants and leaves all over your face.
4) Your diet consists of pretzels and bread.
5) You no longer puke when you have too much alcohol in you, you just black out and fall over on the spot.
6) You consistently buy beer like Schlitz and Natty ice.
7) You're a huge fan of the Bud 30 pack.
8) Your favorite pastime is drinking in the basement of the fine establishment that employs you.
9) You are friends with people with nicknames like "Brew Lou."
10) When you wake up you say Coffee is for pussies and go straight for the eye opener of scotch.

I would like to give thanks for...
sluts
pot
shrooms
mescaline
acid
liquor
Slayer
DJ Shadow
Amon Tobin
the internet
porn
video cameras
Salvadore Dali
James Paterson
Aidan Hughes
Terry Gilliam
BMR
computers
plastic surgery
AIDS
Macromedia (nerd)
Fresca
MP3 compression
Turn *era* *era* tables
Mere's house
America
my bro
HBO
food

I would like to destroy...
ignorance (good luck on that one, Chad)
the American education system
Kevin Blom
the evil alien that made Metallica suck
Money (the barter system is where it's at)
dance music
organized religion
deadlines
my mom

Not a complete list or in any kind of order, of course, just off the top of my head. How about yourselves? (comments section, you know the deal)

About 2 months ago I stumbled upon something that upped the value of my life. God bless you if you were one of the fortunate to come across the gem I happened to find. While couch surfing with my girlfriend at night something compelled me to flick through the wasteland of cable TV... High into the unfamiliar numbers I searched. Past VH1, MTV and the always confusingly humorous BET. I didn't stop at the animal channel and I just kept on clicking. Now I don't know if it was laziness that caused me not to press 2 enter and go back to the bottom of the numbers but it was as if something was pulling me higher and higher into this unfamiliar territory. As the numbers increased so did the rate at which the channels went by... 68, 69, 70, 71. WHAT? DID YOU JUST SEE THAT! I jumped up at a rate which threw my girlfriend off of me and almost on the floor. As I scrambled for the remote it felt like an eternity to switch back to channel 70. Was it still going to be there? Did I really see what I thought I did? Was it just a millisecond of unscrambled TV that hit the second I flashed by this station??   click more to read the rest  

This past Saturday November 17th, Jefferson Starship played two concerts at IMAC in Huntington. It was a pretty good show, although some country and other shit was played. But there were really just two reasons I went to the show; original Jefferson Airplane members Paul Kanther and Marty Balin. I will admit, Balin enjoys playing some lame shit, country included, but Kanther rocks as always and was even decked out in some 60's garb. An added bonus to the night was Diana Mangano, who's vocals were as close to Grace Slick's as I think a person can get. Somebody to Love, Volunteers, Wooden Ships, and Miracles were the only songs I knew, but there were some other good grooves played too. There were even insanely fucked up 30 somethings flailing their arms about, going nuts. Probably the effects of a good trip mixed with psychedelic music. Sadly, White Rabbit wasn't played, so I would have to give the night a 7/10. Peace

Forget where you were last night?
Click more to find out if it was a metal show.
  click more to read the rest  

Who's The Boss was about this dude named Tony. He drove a blue van I think. Sam drove a yellow car with reflectors all over it (because Tony was concerned for her safety. How embarrassing!) Tony's role on the show was Angela's bitch. He had to do all the work around the house because he was homeless or something. The family consisted of Tony, Angela, Angela's mother, Mona (who I'm pretty sure thought she was hot. That, or I thought she was hot when I was a little kid, but I really hope not. Same goes for that Blanch chick from Golden Girls. Do old people count as chicks? Hope so.) Then there was Sam, who would later go on to play in hit movies like Poison Ivy 2, which I think might have been a porn, some other porn movie, and now 1-800-COLLECT commercials as Samantha Savalot or something like that.
IN CONCLUSION
I think they air Who's The Boss on the Fox Family Channel. But nobody knows for sure, nobody watches that channel. They gave the Olsen Twins a show, which proves to me nothing they air ever could possibly be of any value. Who's the Boss is funny as hell. But just in theory. If you actually sit though it you'll be surprised just how unfunny Tony Danza can actually be. They might have slapped a comedy label on it, but I think they were supposed to actually file it "Crap." Someday I want to pay Tony Danza a real lot of money to come sing the theme song to Who's The Boss at my birthday party. Seeing him sing that song would be a dream come true for me.

- written by robotfrank

I put a new poll up, the old one was getting er... well, old. Results for that poll showed that most of you don't even know who Mere is, much less are regular visitors to his house. For those of you who don't know, Mere (seen at right) is a loveable scamp who enjoys smoking pot, drinking beers, and I honestly don't think too much else. He has a nice bong and likes to use it... often. His house is a haven for burnouts and stoners alike. He moved out two days ago, which is terrible news for everyone who spent all their time there, but hopefully he will move back in soon.

In other site news, I put up the beginnings of the features section. It was long overdue, and is still far from complete, but I got the basic format down and will finish it off over the next couple days. All that's on there now is some lingo and the start of the shit gallery. Next up, a rumor bin with the ability for anyone to post, not just editors.

This is a list of tips which I have found help me to win verbal battles with some of my least favorite people. It is by no means a complete list, and they may not work for everyone, but it's a good place to get started.

• Tip 1: Believe you are better than who you are trying to degrade. You do not have any kind of spectacular self esteem for this, you just need to believe that the brunt of your agression is a lowlife piece of shit. Arrogance doesn't hurt either.

• Tip 2: Be somewhat intelligent. You don't have to be a genius, you just need to be quick on your feet and ready to counter anything the other person says.

• Tip 3: Do not be afraid to dis yourself as long as the other person is put in the more compromising position due to the dis. If you dis yourself before the other person has a chance to, they will be confused and disoriented. If you call yourself gay, and they had planned on calling you gay, they will either not say it and have to think of something else, or when they say it they will seem like morons. Similar situation to the pretzel thing in Mallrats, as long as you are in control, it really doesn't matter what the personal sacrifice is.

• Tip 4: If your degregation turns into an argument, never give up. Even if you seem beat, one homerun putdown can turn the crowd in your favor and win you friends and influence enemies.

• Tip 5: Have no pride in your family. If someone says something along the lines of, "Yeah I ate your mom out last night", an excellent counter would be, "Well my mom is a fat, ugly whore, I hope you enjoy your case of syphilis." There's simply not much you can say to that, folks.
  click more to read the rest  

Last night, Friday the 9th, Blue Floyd played at IMAC in Huntington. If you've never hear of them, Blue Floyd is obviously a Pink Floyd cover band, but they write some of their own stuff too, like blues and whatnot. They were led by a very rockin guitarist known as Marc Ford, who used to lead for The Black Crowes. He helped set the mood of the night, coming out on stage smokin a fat J. The keyboardist, Johnny Neel was a very cool old blind guy who used to do some shit with the Allman Brothers. The whole concert rocked, goin on for four hours, which is pretty long for a IMAC event. They played all the classics such as Comfortably Numb, Breath in the Air, Money, Eclipse, Wish you were here, Shine on you Crazy Diamond, a very rad blues version of Money, and many other good songs I cant remember. All this and a lot of smoke and psychadelic spot lights made out for a very good night.

If you've never been to IMAC, you should definitely check it out sometime. Although mostly blues and jazz groups play there, they do get the occasional kick ass group like Blue Floyd. Edgar Winter played there during the summer. Jefferson Starship is playing there next friday, the 17th. Dont worry, orginal Jefferson Airplane members Paul Kantner and Marty Balin will be there to make sure some good ol' Airplane jams get to be played. Check it out if you're hip. PEACE.

IMAC Website

We're the Bears Shufflin' Crew.
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start no trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Well, they call me Sweetness,
and I like to dance.
Runnin' the ball is like makin' romance
We've had the goal since training camp
To give Chicago a Super Bowl Champ.
And we're not doing this because we're greedy.
The Bears are doin' it to feed the needy.
We didn't come here to look for trouble,
We just came here to do
The Superbowl Shuffle.

This is Speedy Willie, and I'm world class.
I like runnin', but I love to get the pass.
I practice all day and dance all night,
I got to get ready for the Sunday fight.
Now I'm smooth as a chocolate swirl,
I dance a little funky, so watch me girl.
There's no one here that does it like me,
My Superbowl Shuffle will set you free.
  click more to read the rest  

-You smoke in your bathroom in the morning before school.
-You find nugs on your floor all the time.
-You smoke 2 or more times before school is out.
-You can make a piece out of household items in record time.
-You see a 20 dollar bill and are reminded of a twan.
-You always have weed and when you don't you are trying to get more.
-You get all high and hit around a beach ball in a circle with other stoners.
-You buy weed multiple times a day.
-You are skilled in the metric units grams and ounces.
-You own and have owned a bong or 2.
-You once tried to smoke the Canadian flag, 'cause you mistook the maple leaf for a marihuana leaf.
-You cant wait for the clock to read 4:20 every day.
-You hang out at my house.

Add your own in the comments section.

You might be addicted to pornography if...

... you masturbate lefty so you can keep your right hand on the mouse.
... you know the words to GG Allin's "I wanna fuck myself" by heart.
... you are a guy and you use lotion.
... the only things in your trash can are used tissues.
... you have subscriptions to Hustler, Penthouse, Private, and Taboo.
... you have over 50 VHS tapes, and only 3 aren't hidden.
... when you go to the hun at noon, and every link has already been visited.
... you give yourself indian burns... 5 times a day.
... you know all the names of the Vivid girls.
... you clear the history after every time you use the computer.
... you had to buy a new hard drive because your "collection" had grown a little too large.
... you've justified to yourself that porn is art.
... when you talk to girls you call them "fuckmeat" or "you dirty little whore".
... you laminate your porn mags so they don't get ruined when you bring them in the shower.
... the first thing you try to do with a girl is fuck her in the ass.
... you've named your dick.
... you became a pizza delivery boy because Jenna said she loves a guy who delivers.
... you think girls love to swallow.

Add your own in the comments section.

Champion of right
sweeps out of the shadows
Darkwing owns the night
somewhere some villian schemes
but his number's up
4-3-2-1-Darkwing Duck
When there's trouble you
call D W
Darking Duck

Yeah so 39 of you voted Darking Duck to top the poll. Donald edged out the Toilet Duck 23 to 22, showing us that a silly sailor can fight grime with the best of them. Daffy beat out Scrooge which is a fucking shame, since Daffy blew ass and Scrooge swam in gold and other bling blingin shit and his crew was iller than Daffy's. Who wouldnt wanna hang with steve Huie, Dewey, and Louie. They were chill goslings or whatever little ducks are called. Fuck it, I dont care. Scrooge won if you ask me, launchpad was in Ducktales first, and it lasted a lot longer than Darkwing Duck. Why am I bothering to continue talking. Later

HOT OFF THE PRESSES: Tonight the Ashroken police busted Tom Ulrich, Ryan Quinn, and Chris Sagistano with $90 worth of beer in the backseat of Ulrich's car. Neil Brown is the big loser in all of this because it was all his beer. Sean Quigley was in the car with the busted 3, but got out before they were pulled over.

- extended story version -
Tonight as I was driving to Mere's I saw a familar face walking along Ashroken, towards the Neck. I turned around and checked it out. It was indeed Sean Quigley, so I picked him up. He explained his story: party at Herships' for the Cross Country team, they couldn't find the house so he got out of the car he was in too look on foot. He asks me to take him to Herships' house, which I do. Before we get there, we see the car he was in earlier pulled over by the Ashroken Police. The contents of this car were Tom Ulrich (driver; allegedly only has a junior license), Bryan Quinn (track superstar), Chris "New Shoes" Sagistano, and all $90 worth of Neil Brown's beer. We saw them getting frisked as we drove by, so they are presumably fucked. Quigley then relayed to me how he got out of their car before because another car they were with got pulled over, and he had a feeling the same was going to happen to them; he was right. He tried to tell him to put the beer in the trunk, but they didn't listen to him, serves them right. Quigs saw a bad situation, and got out of there, just like we learned to do in health. We turned around again and went to Mere's. Highlights there include a little dueling banjos *wink wink, nudge nudge* between Mere and Hyno and an 8 person, 6 implement session at 11. Some new masked ripper footage was filmed while I was there, look for it on Sevs soon.

Sean Quigley: 1, Ashroken Cops: 0
Ashroken Cops: 1, Dorks: 0

Cumulative Total:
Sean Quigley: 1
Ashroken Cops: 1
Dorks: 0
Moral of the story? Dorks and partying don't mix.

I know you ladies were getting sick of getting bashed when you make a top ten hottest guys post and everyone yells at you to take it somewhere else. So we have taken the site a step farther and created a forum, just for you. Post your top ten hottest guys.......relationship bashing.....news on who had sex w/ who or whatever else you want to post. But dont be discourgaed form posting in the general section either. So go post and have fun.

Guys let the ladies have this one and please keep it free of the forever annoying weed posts or dumb posts. Feel free to read and check waht the ladies have to say about you.....but dont post negative or the whole world will forever consider you gay.

Links: Forums • Ladies Forum